


it's always darkest before the dawn

by Aelig



Series: Comfortember 2020 [11]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics), Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce is dead, Character Death, Damian Wayne is Robin, Dick Grayson is Batman, Earth-197, Gen, Hot Chocolate, Hurt/Comfort, It's for both Lian and Jason, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Jason is good with kids, Lian is a sweetheart, Nightmare, PTSD, Past Character Death, Stephanie Brown is Batgirl, that's one is for Bruce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27512770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aelig/pseuds/Aelig
Summary: "Jason received voice messages from Dick every week. Or, more accurately, Dick called him every week, Jason never answered, and his brother was nice enough to leave him a message. It was mostly to update him on what was going on in Gotham, or with the family. Tim was coming home more – the penthouse – Cass was more present as well, Stephanie would graduate soon, Damian was making friends.Everyone seemed to be doing well – to be getting past their grief and moving on."OR: It's late at night, and Jason and Lian bond over the same experience.
Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd & His Siblings, Lian Harper & Jason Todd, Roy Harper & Koriand'r & Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown & Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, mention of - Relationship
Series: Comfortember 2020 [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996051
Comments: 5
Kudos: 137





	it's always darkest before the dawn

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!! I hope you're all okay!!
> 
> So I had this idea for this prompt since I saw the prompts for comfortember :D I'm very happy with how it turned out :D
> 
> Thanks so much to the awesome [Batbirdies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batbirdies/pseuds/Batbirdies) for being my beta on this one!! :heart:

The window was open enough to let some fresh air caress his face. Jason was on his tablet, reading the news; the headline something about a charity gala organized by one Richard Grayson-Wayne. There was a picture with it – he could recognize easily enough Dick's charming smile, Damian's scowl, and Stephanie's curly blonde hair in the background, half-hidden behind their big brother.

Jason received voice messages from Dick every week. Or, more accurately, Dick called him every week, Jason never answered, and his brother was nice enough to leave him a message. It was mostly to update him on what was going on in Gotham, or with the family. Tim was coming home more – the penthouse – Cass was more present as well, Stephanie would graduate soon, Damian was making friends.

Everyone seemed to be doing well – to be getting past their grief and moving on. (Mostly. Tim still had this idea about Bruce being alive, and it still worried Dick. He told him so in his last message.)

Everyone except him, that is.

He just- he couldn't. He came back to life, and he hid, and he tried to kill Bruce and-

They were starting to get along again when Bruce died. Jason felt like he had a dad again, and- everything had blown up in his face.

He had run away, and buried himself in another project to _forget_ -

(But he could never forget.)

Soft, tiny footsteps padded the floor behind him. “Jay?” asked a little voice.

Jason closed the window and turned. “Hey Lian. Couldn't sleep?”

The little kid looked at him with big brown eyes full of tears. _Shit_.

He crouched in front of her. “Li? Sweetheart, what's going on?”

“I... I had a nightmare. I can't sleep.”

He hummed. “Yeah, me neither. Wanna sit with me?”

Lian nodded and stretched out her arms to him. Jason smiled, and took the little girl against him, carrying her without problem. She immediately snuggled comfortably in his arms.

He rocked her a little, and soon Lian started to smile again, even giggling against his neck. It was contagious; Jason smiled too. He went to sit on the couch, keeping her on his lap.

“You want to talk about it?” he asked finally.

Lian lowered her head, looking at her feet. “I'm just... I keep seeing the explosion. I keep _feeling_ it, too.” She sniffled, and Jason's heart _ached_. “It's like I'm back there.”

Jason tightened his grip on her and kissed the top of her head. It was unfair, what happened to Lian. It was what Roy, Kori and him wanted to undo, after all, and they _did it_.

But Lian still _died_. Lian died, and she could remember it, and there was really no coming back from that.

Jason had been there before, after all.

Lian would always be different, always marked by her death and coming back from it. But she got to live past three, so it was for the better. Probably. Looking at the little girl, Jason couldn't regret fighting to get her back. She deserved this. She deserved to have her whole life before her.

And Roy deserved to keep his daughter, too.

“Yeah. I feel like that too, sometimes,” he said quietly. Lian raised her head again to look at him, not openly curious but attentive. “I died too, you know. Some years ago. There was... There was an explosion, too.”

“Oh,” she breathed out, eyes wide. “You're like me?”

Jason had a wry smile. He kept to himself all the adjectives he could use for them both – traumatized, resurrected, zombies, kids dying in a war that wasn't theirs.

Instead, he simply said, “Yeah. We're the same.”

Lian went limp in his arms in a matter of seconds. Jason panicked before realizing it was from all the tension leaving her body suddenly, and nothing else like dying again or whatever conclusion his mind jumped to next.

“I'm glad,” she murmured. Jason could see the tears in her eyes. He kissed her hair and hugged her closer to him.

“I'm glad you're not alone with that, Li.”

She sniffled, hiccuped, and Jason feared for an instant she was starting to cry. He liked kids, he wasn't bad with them, but taking care of a kid crying was something else entirely. But she didn't – she curled up against him, pleading eyes staring right into his soul.

“It gets better, right?”

And Jason lost his breath.

Because from his experience, no, it didn't get better; but Jason never tried that hard to make it better. Only that time with Talia, but then things became worse and Jason stopped making the effort. It was always in the back of his mind – the tick tock of the countdown, the white, loud sound of the bomb, the heat of the explosion, the ashes and tears on his tongue as he couldn't breath anything else. It was always _here_ , and he never quite managed to get past it. Just the fact that he called himself the Red Hood, like one of the aliases of the man who murdered him, was proof of that.

But he couldn't tell that to Lian either. He couldn't seriously look at her and tell her _No, your death is going to define who you are for the rest of your second life_. She wasn't even four. He _couldn't_.

“It could,” he started, licking his lips while thinking about his next words. “It could be better. If you work a little for it. Like, talk to someone, you know?”

She tilted her head, in a gesture he saw Dick make a countless number of times. “Are you better?”

Dammit this kid. She was not naive enough for her age.

“Not... Not totally. I didn't work enough for that.” Lian seemed disappointed, so Jason continued. “But, you know what? We can work on that together. What do you say?”

She gave him a bright, wide smile. “Yes! We can do that! And we're gonna be better!”

He smiled down at her, couldn't resist her charm and general cuteness. “And we're gonna be better.”

Jason kissed her forehead and Lian giggled. She was obviously feeling better than when she came to him. He was glad. At least he still could do some things right.

“So kiddo, what do you think about hot chocolate and then bed?”

Lian wrinkled her nose. “If you read to me!”

“Seems like a good deal to me,” he said with his most serious expression.

Lian beamed, and jumped off his lap to run into the kitchen. He followed her at a more slow pace. Jason was soon making hot chocolate, following Alfred's recipe; he still knew it by heart, even after all this time, even after dying. Lian kept looking behind his shoulder, propped up on the counter, standing on her tiptoes. He let her, and explained to her every step of the recipe.

It didn't take long for them both to be back on the couch, hot cups in their hands, Lian retelling him a story she read some time ago. She was in the middle of it when her eyelids started to droop, Lian apparently failing to stay awake any longer. With a quiet smile, Jason put the cups on the table and took Lian in his arms, carrying her carefully to her bed, where he tucked her in. He was ready to leave, sure she was asleep, until her hand grabbed his shirt and pulled a little at it.

“The story...” Her voice was sleepy, but she didn't let go of him.

Stubborn little girl.

Jason smiled and sat by the bed. There were children's books on the floor, so he just took one of them and opened it to the first page, starting to read it loud enough for Lian to hear without troubling her sleep, and low enough not to wake up Roy or Kori.

Lian's quiet breathing soon told him she was now asleep. He kept reading until the end, still. Then, he kissed her forehead again, made sure the blanket was well tucked around her, and left her room.

When Jason picked up his tablet again, still open to the Gotham's news, the picture of his siblings stared back at him. He realized that he missed them and their easy company, how he had started to feel better with his family by his side. Things were bound to be different now, but...

Jason promised Lian to be better. To work to be better.

Maybe... Maybe he could start by coming back home.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! :D
> 
> Tomorrow we have Therapy/Emotional support pet, and we're going to have Lian again :D
> 
> Take care, a lot of love for you!! :heart:


End file.
